Category Archives: She's crazy

out of her mind.

Would you think I’m unreal?

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I don’t really like to use headphone after all.

Because I have this idea in my mind that by using it I’ll spoil my incredibly good hearing.

I’m really good in hearing – which make me a auditory person more than a visual person.

I can hear all the soft voices/noises. And I always need to listen to people, in order to believe and to know what they really think or feel, though I can sense it. This does not mean that I don’t trust whatever I see with my own eyes, or the feelings I get. It’s just as the auditory person, I always depends on listening to be fully confident about something.

I always ask for comments. I always ask people how do you feels. I always throw out tons of questions, and often ask why. I always love to listen to people – their stories, problems, feelings and all sort of things. I always need to be listened to be 101% confirm about something. See, how annoying I can be as a auditory person.

Ever since I started to work, I have the habit to use headphone because apparently I can’t put on speaker in my office and have all my colleagues to listen to my kind of musics. I enjoy good music, and I sometimes put on loud music to wake myself up. But I’m so afraid that I’ll spoil my hearing. Though how annoying a auditory person can be, I will always want to be like this.

But I just proved that I still have my good hearing after all. Because I can still tell that my neighbor is back home from the soft engine’s sound.

And I will still use headphone, as long as I don’t have my own room in office. And as long as I need it to talk to my big bear.

Ohh, by the way, I’m so addict to Rachael Yamagata’s songs now. I think I just found another good song of hers too!

p.s. I can always remember your voice, because I’m a auditory person. *winks*

This is the fate you’ve carved on me.

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I was sitting at the passenger seat, still blurring after I’d been woke up by big sister to drive out to pick youngest sister up at college.

We were going down the Kesas Highway. And that was the time when that awful memory just came back to me.

I was driving down the Kesas Highway. I was feeling so bad, all the things that happened during the past weeks were tearing me down inside. All I wanted to do is just, go home. I was driving fast, maybe incredibly fast. I cut lines till I was driving at the fast lane. I wasn’t thinking straight I guess, and all I did was just stepping on the accelerator.

That was the time when I realized that someone put out traffic cones at the fast lane due to some highway improvement. The traffic cones were right in front of me and I tried to cut into the middle lane. I did an emergency break and I think I kind of stopped right before the traffic cones. And at the back of those traffic cones, were few highway stone-divider.

It might be the day that I leave this place. I almost got myself killed. I almost killed some other people.

I was shaking and cursing myself after I “saved” myself. Stayed at the slow lane till I got home, and cried so hard when I saw my mum. I’ve never tell them about this incident. Mum thought I cried because of what’d happened the past weeks.

Darling, what if I really die in that incident?

I’ll never get the chance to know you. I can never be with you.

Not in this life.

I’m so glad that I survived. I’m so happy that I met you, and here we are. I’m glad that we’d made it through the second day. *winks*

Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of myself here. I will, drive safe.

And I would want to meet you again, in my next life, maybe.