I want to do this with you on Melbourne’s street.
Or it’s not safe to do so?
And I need to dye my hair to very brownish and buy a dress like that.
Nah…
It’ll still be perfect with my not-very-brownish hair,
And your very messy hair,
And thick thick jacket since it’s going to be winter.
*winks*
now that i can touch the sky.
but why can’t i touch your heart?
because this is not the right time, yet.
my house was in a mess for a couple of weeks since my dad decided to have a little repainting here and there. therefore, my organ (as in the music instrument which have upper and lower keyboard and pedals, and not the real organ you have it in you body!) had been moved to another place, but it was finally went back to it’s old place. and all of the sudden, i got the urge to play music again, after so long that i’d abandoned the passion i had for music since i was around 6-years-old.
my fingers were unfamiliar with the keyboard, they used to know which place to go just by me looking at the notes. i miss the feelings of my fingers flying between this key to the another, it’s just like the feeling of freedom. it’s been very long, 3 years, that i’d abandoned my organ and the music once i’d loved so much. but i was glad, i catch up the standard i used to have with few songs that i loved to play last time. and maybe, i should take this holidays, to play music again.
i used to dream of being a musician when i was a little girl. and i thought of taking music as my career when i was in high school. but i don’t remember what kept me away from achieving that dream. i guess, maybe the reality had taught me to have a more realistic dream, a more realistic dream is what i need to survive in this world. i think, it was the stress i faced which kept me away from this dream. but it was okay. now, i have a better dream. a dream which i thought, i will be achieving it with a best friend, who now i know she’ll be watching over me up there, and she’ll be glad if i were to achieve, with her spirit with me. i’m unsure, with me alone doing all these, i’m not sure whether i can do it or not. but i know, i will try my best, for her and for myself.
my uncle had been telling me to go over to United State for my further studies. no doubt he had showed me another path that i can take, when i finish my degree next year. for me to go over to US, it’ll be a big thing for the family. my sisters have been telling me not go there ’cause it’s too far. my mum once said that it’s too far, but then she told me if i want to go then i will need to improve my English from now, and she added that i must come back after my studies. well, i don’t really know. i mean, it will be interesting to study over there in US, but it’ll still be a matter for me to enter the university there. but i will try my very best, to graduate my degree with first class honor and apply for every possible university that offer the course i want, and see which one i can get. it’s still too early to think of this, when i’m still struggling for my degree studies. lolz.
p.s. jinshan said i’d recover from the pain. but, why am i missing you now and then? and it saddens me ’cause i can’t talk to you..
being your angel for that period of time, is the happiest thing in life.
today, when my sisters and i was reaching home from sunway, my big sister told me that if a guy who likes me, were to sit next to me or in my car and i’m the one who’s driving, she said that guy will never dare to like me anymore. i was like huh why, and gave her my innocent look. i thought maybe, i drive with bad skills or maybe i was being very clumsy when i drive. but, she said that i’m very polite and good when i’m not driving, but when i’m driving, my mouth couldn’t stop cursing and bad words eventually come out from my mouth. hahahahahaha! okay, so now i’m very aware that i did curse when i drive, and it’s not good at all! so, i should jaga mulut from now. no more cursing whenever i’m driving, remember that yeeying!
and really, i don’t know why, when i was talking with weikang in msn, we ended up talking about what kind of wife/mother i will be in the future. i didn’t notice at first then i starting to feel weird. lolz. seriously how come we ended up talking about this? well, i don’t know either, but we never have the conclusion for that conversation too. lolz. but, ’cause i’m still reading “The Time Traveler’s Wife”, and i came across the part where Clare got miscarriage, and god she did not have only one in the story but five if i’m not mistaken. imagine, put yourself in her shoes, imagine you or your wife (in the future) got five miscarriage, how sad will she be? how hard will it for you to take those heart breaks for five times? i can’t imagine that, i couldn’t be sure i will be fine, and i will still live if i were to go through that situation. i think for me, if the miscarriage happens because of my carelessness, i will never ever forgive myself. of course, touch wood that it won’t be happening in future and whatever! Clare got all those miscarriages ’cause the fetus, time travel. so yea, it’s just a story book after all.
and talking about book! i found a book that i want to own so much last night! hehehe. i never have any favorite artists or singers, but i favor one writer so much and i wish to have all the books she wrote! and i did have the collection but there’s one book that they don’t publish anymore, so my collection will only be complete if i were to steal that book from library. lolz. okay, so this writer is a chinese writer so i can’t translate her name. but seriously, her writing is very good and you can actually sees the reality between those lines. there will be too many things for you to realize if you read her novel. =)
this is the new book of hers!
and i want this so much~
i don’t have any obsession, but i think i’m obsessed over books! okay, not those boring text-book but novel or poem. and i’m weird, ’cause i always read without really take note who is the writer, because i have problem remembering names i guess, especially those who i can’t really talk to them in reality. so yea… XD but, i favor Cecelia Ahern, the writer who wrote “P.s. I Love You”! her writing is good too, and you will realize things too from her books. i’m planning to get all her books, for collection and of course for me to read. i’d only got 2 of her books now, and my dad wasn’t willing to buy me when it don’t have sales. so i will have to wait till books sales only i can get to buy all her books i think.
my dad actually asked me why i read english books when i’m taking chinese language as my major in university. so i told him, “because i need a balance”. hahahaha! i think he was satisfied with my answer and didn’t ask me anymore whenever he saw me reading english book. lolz. my parents know how much i love to read, and my mum don’t really allowed me to buy books for god knows reason. but my dad doesn’t really mind buying me books. so i should be smart enough to buy books that i want whenever my dad is around. hahahaha. and my dad eventually promised me a build-in bookshelf all along the wall upstairs inside the family hall when we were renovating our new house last year. but.. no he didn’t give me a build-in bookshelf.. but it’s okay, i can have it when i have my own house in the future, build-in bookshelf which i’d always dream of! =)
okay, it’s getting no point here.
and i will definitely need a new hair cut before christmas! this time, maybe a short hair? oh no, probably not! i don’t want someone laugh like how jinyoung did when he first saw my short-hair-look from my high school’s year book. well, i don’t have any idea yet.. XD
it’s saturday’s night, and why on earth i’m stuck at home?
p.s. i want to go swimming and eat red bean sago soup! =D
it’s snowing in my blog here! =D
and i’d decided to change my blog’s theme once again to make the snow obvious ’cause you know the previous’ ones is white, so you can’t really see it..
hehehehe, how great will it be if m’sia have four season and i can have a snowing white Christmas every year?
okay, stop dreaming and i shall go back to study!
p.s. can’t wait for Christmas to come.
i wish i could time travel back.
to the time when i still have you with me.
when we still have us.
but i know.
i got to let go and move on.
move on.
it’s seems like the hardest thing to do now.
and if only i can travel forward.
p.s. too much of “The Time Traveler’s Wife”.
