I’m definitely loving it much. =]

It’s February and it’s all about love and caring ’cause of the heart-warming Valentine’s Day. This year, I don’t have boyfriend around to accompany me so it was a boring ones. But…not exactly because I shed tears at the international airport after watching my best friend flew away on Valentine’s Day.

It must be the worst Valentine’s Day because of the worst traffic ever on that day. I was already tearing when I was stuck in bad traffic and my friend called saying they’re about to leave to airport. I tried so hard not to sound like a crying baby. But luckily, I managed to hop up on another friend’s car and rushed to airport.

And then, you know how it’s like to send someone off. I was upset for not being able to send another 2 best friends off too because I need to go to work. But they know I love them and I’ll always be there for them over the distances. =]

And I love them so much I threw them a happening (it’s up to you to define “happening“) farewell party! 3 of them wanted to go to Souled Out which is very famous among football fans apparently. One note for whoever wanted to go there, please make a reservation because you wouldn’t want to wait in a long queue.

It was really a fun night with everyone. Everyone was busy taking down memorable pictures with each other while some of the guys were intensely watching football game. Oh well, it was MU versus Liverpool and you can’t tell me to stop them from watching it right? But it was so cool to listen to the audience/customers to sing MU’s club song loudly when they’ve won the match. It was really….cooool!

Girls of the night.

She was the one who left on Valentine’s night. It’s was hard to watch her walk away but we all know she’s leaving for a better future. One and a half year is too short to be upset about right? Soon, she’ll be back and we can have fun again.

With sweet xingying. <3

I didn’t manage to send him off but he managed to give me two big hugs the night before he left. I know it’s gonna be a bit lonely without him around but I’ll look forward to the day when he’s finally back. And I just noticed I didn’t managed to take pictures with another good mate chiunyoong! Argghhhh.

Epic jinshan!

This is like the best event I ever have in February. Okay maybe I should minus out my personal valentine’s celebration to say that. I wish we could do it again and again, for whatever purpose but to have all of you together with me, I fell blessed.

Lovely group picture of the night.

Oh btw, have I told you about boyfriend coming back soon? =D

I was suppose to update something about this festive season but I didn’t manage take any pictures while I was visiting my friends’ house. *facepalm* So it’s really just like any other CNY visiting trip – greetings, eating, drinking and ang pau.

I’m sorry that this will be a boring ones.

But I wish you’ll continue to have a great and enjoyable celebration ahead.

And have a prosperous and joyous year!  =]

International airport. Coming down from a cab with your parents. Reminding me of someone I know. Kept watching you at the airport. Glad to find out that we were on the same tour.

I guess, you’ve successfully gained my attention even before you speaks to me. I wasn’t myself since I met you. Or maybe you’re the one who actually reveal the true me inside.

Maybe..I already know I will love you that time. No matter how hard I tried to talk myself into believing it will all never turns out right.

I waited for your emails. I responded to your messages. I went out with you, a lot of times. It all started to went out of control and I was so evil. But you said, it was my evilness that we now have us.

365-days ago, I didn’t know that we will go this far. It all seems to be a normal outing with my family. We were just being “friendly” in inviting you for the movie and dinner. And then, before I even realize what I was doing, I was leaning on your shoulder like I’ve done it a thousand times already. Walking in the almost-empty mall with my arms in yours made me felt like, finally….a calming home.

No will-you-be-my-girlfriend question was being asked, but here we are holding each other close to us for a year from the date we both agreed to be The-Day we got  together officially.

Though we spent most of this one year apart, we did it okay in maintaining this relationship. Having distances between us doesn’t make this relationship easier or harder, simply because we trust and treasure each other enough to talk things through over skype. #successfulkid.jpg And sometimes we ran out of ideas of what to talk about, I could still look at you without having to say anything and don’t feel awkward about it.

You’ve been very patient and loving, thank you so much for having to deal with my childishness and emoness at times. Soon you’ll be home and I could jump on you to tell you how much I’ve missed you.

And how glad I am to have you in my life, for now and later.

less-than-thee.

Something that I wish I could have and have no regret for this life.

Yet, it’s not always like that. Life is unfair that it makes you fall into the decision-making circumstances and then you’ll have to make decision – whether you like it or not, you’d got to choose and know that it’s your choice.

I’ve never regretted for leaving people that I’ve used to love, simply because it was proven later that it was the best choice and I’ve no regret for walking away. I’ve never regretted for choosing a university which I’ll have to move away for 3 years, because I’ve learned to be independent and see the world with my own eyes. I’ve never regretted for working as a tutor for young children at the daycare centre, because I know I’ll never let my own children experience whatever that can be happen there. I’ve never regretted for joining the first company though the company kinda sucks, because I met great friends there and I heart them so much.

And, I’ve never regretted for giving up Hong Kong and that master course.

I’ve never regretted choosing our future together over my university’s dream.

For me whom had been wishing for a man who knows how to appreciate and love me, it’s never too hard to give up something that I know I can live without – my dream of completing master course aboard. I know I can do well and good in career even without those experiences and certificate, I have enough strength and will to achieve a reasonably good career. I know some will say that I’m being stupid enough to give up this for you, but I know it ain’t true and I don’t care.

Plus, I know I have a bigger dream than that. I know I have not been writing lately, it’s not because of oh-gawd-im-so-busy-i-have-no-time-to-do-my-own-things but it’s just because I don’t have any idea to write. I have not forgot about my big dream – I’m trying to survive in this cruel society while trying my best to try to achieve my big dream.

I’m totally fine with my situation now, I’m happy with my job ’cause it’s so damn awesome to work in this position. It’s just that….I envy those who can get away and spend a little more time as student aboard. Have no worries of life is nice, but it’ll be like a runaway if I selfishly do it now. I have my responsibilities and obligations to uphold. And I would never forgive myself…if I ever be that selfish and greedy.

Given me another chance now, I’ll still choose to stay and be independent as a white-collar worker. I’ll still choose my near future with you than having to deal with another few months of LDR.

I would earn and spend time overseas as a tourist. I would stay for now to be able to spend holidays with you aboard.

That’s my choice. And know that I’m satisfied. =]

I remember how I always ran my fingers through my phone’s keyboard to search for this song recording you made for me. I hugged my phone to listen to it before I go to bed. I played it at the side when I was driving. I had it repeated like a thousand times on my laptop.

I should have know that, it’s the sign of me falling for you.

I got used to you whispering things to me into the evening.

I don’t remember exactly when did I started to enjoy talking to you. I knew it was easy to talk to you, though you are the 101% English-educated guy and I’m the 101% Chinese-educated girl. The conversation always went very easily and no awkward long pauses or so. And then I don’t remember when did you started to whisper things to me, into evenings or midnights, in your warm arms.

Show me a clock for counting my days down.

When all of the sudden, you’re thousand miles away from me, and what we have were/are just memories and skype. The distance wasn’t very easy to be dealt with, but we managed it anyway. Sometimes it feels too lonely to be alone here, to just see you over the webcam and get virtual hugs and kisses. And I know it wasn’t easy for you too. So we had this clock in our heart, counting down to the day when we’ll finally be together again.

I’m so glad to have you again for one month and 6 days.

And whenever you go it’s like holding my breath under water.

I couldn’t gather the courages to send you off at airport, again. The tears were running down my cheek like a broken water pipe. The feelings were killing me, it’s like I’m losing you. I know you’ll be coming back again, yet I hate to feel like I’m losing you to…whatever-it-is.

Then now, we’re back to the same old routine.

Come back, and find me.

In a few months time, you’ll be back. And I’ll have home.

Because…

Everything’s easier when you’re beside me.

It’s been  2 weeks of a brand new year and I certainly wish you’re having a great ones.

My new year started pretty well, with not very massive jam on the road and a enthusiastic working environment. Yeap, I know the traffic is quite stressing and tiring, but I’m enjoying my own little space in the car, clearing my mind or just thinking random stuff while trying not to stay too close to other cars #likeaboss

I’m satisfied and happy with my new job, though I’m sure it’s not the peak season for advertising yet since it’s just the start of this year. All my colleagues are very friendly and kind to guide me through projects and also in understanding clients.

Let’s hope that it’s gonna be an awesome job okay?

Promise to take a picture of my pathetic seat, and you’ll know why is it pathetic then.

Cheers, for new year and new start.

I know you can’t really read it here because it’s too small, so please do click on the image to go directly to the post. *winks*

If you’d finished the 9gag post, I know surely the sadness and heartache is somehow lingering in your heart. Not everyone had been into that situation before, but maybe you’d encountered someone whom had lost someone so dearly to them and had difficulties in getting over that great agony.

And I always wonder, how do people cope with all the distress and despair causing by the lost of their loved ones. I’ve lost people I loved before due to natural life cycle, and also sickness and accidents.

I always have this thinking in my head, where if you lost someone simply because of the life cycle or severe health problems, it’s not very hard to overcome the agony of lost. But, if it’s something unpredictable aka accidents, it’s always very hard for people to accept the sudden fact and the overwhelming emotions.

Then, I’ll always think and think and think, how can one manage to get it over with? How can one still be able to love another ones when they’ve once lost someone they loved, so unexpectedly? I know one will always manage to love again, but….will that feeling reminds one about the one that got away? Will there be a comparison between both love?

I don’t know for sure because I’ve never been there. All I have is my own very small brain to justify this whole thing.

I know it’s gonna be as hard as you can imagine at the very start, then days by days the feelings will lingers in the heart and moving on seems like a mission impossible. But then there’ll be a point where the acceptance comes in. One day, the fact of the someone is gone will be accept and going through daily intercourse without him/her seems a little bit easier than before. Then you start smiling and feeling again. Yet always remember that one person who once lighted up your life.

I have friends whom had been there but I dare not to bother them with my stupid question. Yet I always have this very upset feelings and the question whenever I come across this kind of news.

I do not know what else to be written about this.

It will forever be a question without an answer.

What I’ve been doing for the past 365 days? What did I achieved in the year of 2011? I don’t really know – I mean the time just literally flew by and never come back again. But, let’s see what I’ve done the past year.

I’m finally an independent adult who go to work from 9am to 7pm. #pokerface.jpg I’m used to the waking-up-at-8am-and-only-wait-for-the-clock-to-stop-at-7pm routine. But good thing about my job is that I wouldn’t have to go through massive jam because the office is just down the highway! Anyway, all these don’t matter if I hate my job. Well, to be frank, I do not hate my job. I just don’t see a future in it (Okie, I have problems with some of the annoying people but it’s all okay when we successfully solved the issues), so I just decided to move on from it. And successfully got a brand new attracting offer before 2011 ended! #successfulkid.jpg

One great thing about my very first job experience is, I met great, inspiring and very different individual from this company, whom had taught me to look at things differently. It’s really nice to have a super kind, helpful and trustworthy supervisor, whom you knew she’ll always have your back no matter what happen at work. I’m more than grateful to find best friend at work, who I can talk about everything and anything with them – from work to personal and personal to craps! It’s too fun to have them around, but it tore me inside to leave them after one year of knowing them. But I know, we’ll keep in touch. Once friend, forever we’ll be.

When I’ve stepped into the very-cruel-yet-real working world, I’m also thankful that I have my best friends around me. Though we’ve been going the different paths after high school, we still hang out together to listen to others – to be there for them.

Taken on my birthday at Chatime.

We still celebrate everyone’s birthday at different places. We still do yamcha session once in awhile to keep everyone up-to-date. We be there for each other all the time, attending each other’s convocations with blossom flowers and warm hugs. No one wants to miss out the chance to see their best friend in Harry-Potter robe and square hat – the moment everyone has been looking forward to every since we were called a University/College student.

Crazy fun night after xingying's convocation.

It’s been years since we met and known each other, and the days are still counting. I know no matter where they are, they’ll be forever here with me, supporting me like I’ll do for them. It might be a tough 2011, but I wish that 2012 will be a lovely ones for them.

A friendship that will never dies.

I’m proud to announce that……….I’m not married! #trollface.jpg Of course I’m not, but I’ve been to 3 different country in a year time! I definitely love the sun, beaches, big waves and the feeling of being in Bali. It was such an awesome experience and now I dream to have my wedding pictures captured there. LOL!.(Just realize that I didn’t upload a Bali trip picture, so no picture to support my writing above. But, I really really do love there!)

And……! I’ve been to Italy *throw banana and more local fruits but not durians in the air* It was definitely a dream-comes-true for me to be able to land on the land of Italy, breathing the fresh cooling air with sunglasses and pretty little dresses. The Italian food was very delicious and I just love every single bits of Italy, except the fact that people there doesn’t really speaks English. So communication failed.

You know the building there!

Melbourne is the only destination where I flew that 7-hours of flight, alone. It wasn’t too comfortable to fly that long night flight with lots of crying babies on board. But it was all worth it to stand beside him at the arrival hall, pretending like I’m waiting for someone too. The one hug he gave me after he realized I was standing beside him actually felt unreal. It’s been months since I last saw him for real, I just didn’t know what to feel nor think at that time, other than telling myself that this is real – he’s with me.

It was like a 10-days-9-nights dream for me. To spend all the time with only him was amazing. He was back for Summer break and had flew back to Aussie again just 2 days ago. And gawd I miss him like crazy. It was just around this time last year when both of us got to really know each other. He was there to talk to me about everything, he’s still here to hold me hard before I fail and fall. Of course we’re not the prefect couple, we still have disagreement and he’ll still be annoyed, disappointed and mad at me. But it all doesn’t matter as long as we both know we will never want to lose this relationship over those solvable issues.

less-than-three

He’s different, he’s unique, he’s mine. I wish the eternity will last between us.

I’m well aware that I’ve hurt someone this year too. I don’t know what else to be said regarding that because people just tend to only look at things in their own shoes. It wasn’t easy to deal with that but I’ve managed to move on from that. I wish that person well and good, hopefully no past will hunt him down in dreams.

Oh well.. It wasn’t a total bad 2011, isn’t it?

I hope everyone will be having a great and prosperous 2012 ahead.

Be healthy, be wealthy, be grateful, be safe.

Happy New Year! =]

A very good morning on a jolly Christmas day!

I didn’t spend my Christmas Eve very specially, only skyped with my dearest boyfriend while sitting at home with parents. No sumptuous meal, no turkey with sides, no fireworks, no big noise crowd at somewhere and no Christmas songs. #pokerface.jpg It was just simple Taiwanese dishes somewhere nearby, Rachael Yamagata’s songs, edited my last-day-at-work pictures, and watched some random Chinese movie on Astro.

But, it was certainly a great joyful celebration with my colleagues the day before Christmas Eve. It was my company Christmas Party aka Annual Dinner 2011, and also my very last day at work. I was happily snapping pictures with colleagues and Jin even commented saying “No one spend their last day like this one lar” when I forced him to take a picture with me. #lol.jpg

The amateur-bimbo sherlynn with me.
She always said I don’t love her any more because I’m leaving, but the truth is I love her and others so much that it’s aching inside to know that I’m leaving there for good.

anson, the Dai Ga Jie & I.
She’s my heroine, my guardian, my mentor and my good friend who I can always count on whenever I met difficulties at work or even personal stuff. How I wish I could still work with her.

 The one who joined the company on the same day as me – meilin.
We’ve been through thick and thin together, faced the same damned office politic together, finished project by project together. And I miss how we always ask berger to buy us free Chatime.

Soon, everyone left for Annual Dinner preparation. Everyone dressed up in red, wore cute red Santa hat and deer Christmas headband to spread the Christmas spirit. And you know all those Chinese celebration dinner, people will never be on time. So me and boyfriend was nomming on peanuts while waiting for people to arrive.

God of luck wasn’t with me that night because I didn’t win anything from the Lucky Draw of course. So jealous to see people going up to the stage and received grand prizes like iPhone, iPad and antivirus software. The only fun thing was, I sort of volunteered myself to become the leader of the table to play games. It was fun to see people taking off their leather shoes, high heels, stocking, and fought for soda drinking just to win the game.

Didn’t manage to take any of those event because I’m too lazy to flood my blog with pictures. But let me introduce you more of my colleagues.

weisern on the left who I recently got closed with and jackson on the right whom tried very to talk me into extending my resignation.

The guys from my company whom I always dealt with. They are awesome and were being kind and friendly to me. Gonna miss their jokes and funny faces when they request news.

Dolled up us at the Annual Dinner. Definitely wishing to meet them soon!

Three of us got the continuous number from 23 to 25 for gift exchange session! And I got myself a set of cute designed cup for Christmas.

So that was how I spent my last day at work and later at the company annual dinner. The annual dinner is better than last year simply because boyfriend is around and I thank him for taking all the pictures for me.

Lastly,

This post will end with a picture of my lovely bimbo trying to photobomb me, and succeed. #successkid.jpg

Everyone has been reasonably nice to me, though we had argument and disagreement. Office politics once broke us apart but time healed everything and now we’re like good buddy. And it’s so heavy-hearted to leave, now, at this time.

It’s good to know that everyone whom I’ve dealt with appreciate my work here. It’s more than enough to listen to that “What should we do once you leave? No one can help us any more”. It’s just so heart-warming to realize that everyone here wanted me to stay, even just for a little longer.

I’ve never felt like this before, not even when I left my day care tutor job. I’ve never had this mix and contradicting feelings inside. I know I made the right decision to leave, but little did I know it would be this hard to actually tell everyone goodbye.

Some of the colleagues took effort to pay me a meal or snack before I actually leave. My dearest department will be having a delayed farewell with me next week. I want to hug everyone goodbye, I don’t know how to make this easier for me.

I’m running out of time now, I’ll be leaving here in 30 minutes.

Let’s hope the annual dinner will be a great ones, and pictures will be uploaded soon.