One day, he’s going to text you. That day, you’re going to realize he means nothing to you. He’s just another guy. Just another guy, you wasted your time on, tried to look good for, and tried to impress. He’s just another bad memory. You’re going to remember how much you like him, and miss him, but at the same time how much you hate him. Instead of getting all excited over this one message, that can mean the world to you, but nothing to him, just click erase and move on with your life. He’s not worth it.
I wish you were here to read that letter with me.
And I know how much you wanted to burn that letter now.
But hun, I guess I will want to keep that letter, and read it again after few years and laugh at myself.
For being so naive, for being so fearless to love, for letting myself being hurt by him.
And by that time, I’m sure I wouldn’t remember of all the details. What more to remember how much I used to love him, or how much I hate him.
The only one who I can remember how much I actually love someone, was the you-know-who-and-who-apparently-looks-like-you. All the others, I can never recall how much I used to love them, but just how hurt was I. And maybe that’s what I’m going to remember after all. Lesson learnt and we have to remember those lessons aren’t we?
You were here to watch my panic expression when he messaged and called me. You were there to hold me before he did something that might hurt me. You were here to support and you always stay.
He’s not the bad memories. But I know you’re the good ones. The Better Ones.
You don’t know how grateful am I to know that you’ll stay as long as I love you. You don’t know how secure I feel between us, though we are 3000 miles away. You don’t know how happy am I to not fear that I’ll lose you somehow.
You know how my insecurity can kill me. You know how crazy I can think in my head.
But then you clear it all off from my crazy crazy head.
You makes me feel so secure, like nothing it’s going to bring this down.
And he gave me the same feeling too, before he breaking it with his own hands.
So, I’ll take out the pendrive and delete everything, plus rename it! And maybe we’ll burn that letter together after a few years, muahahahahaa!
But then not environmental friendly already…
He’s not worth it, but you worth my wait.
I don’t know how to describe how much I actually love you, but just know that though I’m going through this stage, I do love you with all my heart.
With that flight ticket as the prove. At least something can see and touch. *winks*