One step closer, to you and I.

I’m trying to look at this whole situation in her shoes.

What will I do? How will I take this? Why will I behave like this? Being a mother of a child, I know for sure I want the best for my kid.

But, it doesn’t mean that I’ll take control over their life.

This life that I’ve been living for 22 years, I’m lucky enough to have my parents who love me by understanding and trusting their daughter. I’m fortunate to have my own rights in making important decisions. I’m grateful that I’ve learned unpleasant and hurtful lessons throughout my life. I’m glad to be who I am now because my experiences made me better and shaped me to become this daughter that my parents are proud with.

And I don’t know how am I suppose to feel, knowing someone dear to my love ones hate me for who I am not.

How am I suppose to take this? What can I do to make this situation better? Am I willing to sacrifice to please and satisfy her wishes and dreams? Am I willing to put him through all the pain caused by distances again? Can I take the pain away, those pains that I saw living in his eyes and heart? Can my love replace the genuine love that was suppose to be given by a mother?

Can we all not be selfish and just let him do the decision? I can sacrifice time and happiness, but can you please stop putting any more hopes and expectation on him?

I’m begging you not to push him any more harder in this. I hate to feel helpless in this issue.

It hurts me enough to hear all his hateful and horrid words. I will never want hatred lives in his heart and his rancour against her gets under his skin. I wish to see him being happy with his life. I want him to be able to be proud of his achievement in life. I just hope he’ll forever wear that one sweet smile of his for the rest of his life. These are my simple wishes for my kids in the far future.

I’m not afraid to fall or letting things go for a few years of time. I’m confident in maintaining and holding this one true love of mine. I’m willing to wait, for him to come back and make my fairytale comes true. I’m willing to stay where I am now to see him come back to me. It’s okay for me to wait a little longer to make this situation better.

I’m confident in doing this. I know I’m the main reason that you’re coming back to this land. I know it must be great to know you’d found that one person who you want to live with the rest of your life. And I’ll always be here. I’ll always be right here when you’re tired of the world or society. My arms will hold you right before you fall and break. So, don’t be afraid to fly and reach what you wish to achieve what you’d originally planned before meeting me. Do some amendments to it and I’ll be included in your original yet new plan. Remember, whenever you’re tired just turn around, you’ll always find me smiling towards you.

I know you’ll be apologizing for putting me through all these. But it’s really okay. I’m even more sorry to see you going through all the hard decision and conversation with her. I’ll never want you to feel or experience that again.

And my mind is all over the places that I don’t know what else to say.

It’s okay for me to wait a little more longer.

Because I love you enough to deal with the distances and times.


Whisper to the Tame Animal

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