In this life, I’ll always have something that I wish I could achieve.
Something that I wish I could have and have no regret for this life.
Yet, it’s not always like that. Life is unfair that it makes you fall into the decision-making circumstances and then you’ll have to make decision – whether you like it or not, you’d got to choose and know that it’s your choice.
I’ve never regretted for leaving people that I’ve used to love, simply because it was proven later that it was the best choice and I’ve no regret for walking away. I’ve never regretted for choosing a university which I’ll have to move away for 3 years, because I’ve learned to be independent and see the world with my own eyes. I’ve never regretted for working as a tutor for young children at the daycare centre, because I know I’ll never let my own children experience whatever that can be happen there. I’ve never regretted for joining the first company though the company kinda sucks, because I met great friends there and I heart them so much.
And, I’ve never regretted for giving up Hong Kong and that master course.
I’ve never regretted choosing our future together over my university’s dream.
For me whom had been wishing for a man who knows how to appreciate and love me, it’s never too hard to give up something that I know I can live without – my dream of completing master course aboard. I know I can do well and good in career even without those experiences and certificate, I have enough strength and will to achieve a reasonably good career. I know some will say that I’m being stupid enough to give up this for you, but I know it ain’t true and I don’t care.
Plus, I know I have a bigger dream than that. I know I have not been writing lately, it’s not because of oh-gawd-im-so-busy-i-have-no-time-to-do-my-own-things but it’s just because I don’t have any idea to write. I have not forgot about my big dream – I’m trying to survive in this cruel society while trying my best to try to achieve my big dream.
I’m totally fine with my situation now, I’m happy with my job ’cause it’s so damn awesome to work in this position. It’s just that….I envy those who can get away and spend a little more time as student aboard. Have no worries of life is nice, but it’ll be like a runaway if I selfishly do it now. I have my responsibilities and obligations to uphold. And I would never forgive myself…if I ever be that selfish and greedy.
Given me another chance now, I’ll still choose to stay and be independent as a white-collar worker. I’ll still choose my near future with you than having to deal with another few months of LDR.
I would earn and spend time overseas as a tourist. I would stay for now to be able to spend holidays with you aboard.
That’s my choice. And know that I’m satisfied. =]